Standing Alone (Isolation)
Isolated by humanity, a disregard for this life. So I’m compelled by the unseen and I am dreaming in sunlight. Why are we still standing alone in the dark? Why are we still standing alone? Spent so many days trying to say, “what I’ve become is what I’m afraid of”. I’m becoming sick, too sick to see the world and it’s real reputation. I’m sick of saying I’m satisfied. I’ve become sick, too sick to see these people and their true revelations. I’m sick of saying I’m sorry. Just remember to feel the warmth of the sun. Just remember to feel the air in your lungs. I am reminded that the power is deep within ourselves. It’s enough to bring us back. If home is where the heart is, why am I this fucking cold? When is it time to let us go? Feelings of dread that live deep in my chest, taking charge of movement, taking over breath. Rest.
We’re tempting this chaos just to find the beauty that’s within the whirlwinds of our minds. That spins with panic just until we find, just how, to find the peace inside. Our panic is lusted into a feast, the scent is fear, we’re overwhelmed by taste. The beauty is in the sun but the beast is in it’s rise, so I put my hands over the lids of my eyes. In one single breath, shallow in it’s depth, I am the prey. Our panic is lusted into a feast, the scent is fear, we’re overwhelmed by taste. I’m stuck in the caves with nothing but faint memories of light. Let the waves overwhelm you. I’m falling apart, I’m falling to pieces. I’ve realised that we need to suffer, I’ve realised we need to let it feast, just to find salvation in our beautiful defeat.
Stomach sinking, my feet are off the ground, a moment of eternity suspended in the breeze. Until I descend towards the ground, close in, come down and crash straight into your lungs. There’s a chamber of glass that you put in my mind and I find it real hard to control sometimes, but I shallow my breath, I withdraw my tongue. Every gallop leads to a change in pace, every change leads to leap of faith. Give me the strength to face this. Adrenaline, it can be so cruel, can you feel it in your heart it’s defeating you. Every change leads to a leap of faith. My feet are desperately taking these steps that I then retrace, and my blood it raced like stallions.
These words of grief, are they worth our speech? Or is it best to let them rest and force them out through gritted teeth? My tongue is tied because my soul is too bare. I never measure with regret until I feel it in the present. Uncomfortably close or comfortably distant? Silence finding my answers far too often. The beast appears to claw devastation into the desires of the weak. Nothing remains, no nothing remains. You’ve met your match this is no competition. Creature of comfort you’ve lost your heart. These embers of memories and sunlit shards lay beneath my feet broken. My soul is a shipwreck an empty vessel that lost it’s pride, washed ashore by the raging tide. Nothing remains, no nothing remains. So I sit in silence.
A cynical tale of this feeling of calm, told in remorse through the clench of my jaw. I even sung with the birds as they sensed the storm. If the death of chaos is the birth of clarity then bring me to the ground.